My expensive buddy and collaborator Harriet Gillies usually refers to me as The Invisible Hand of the Web – a title I proudly naked. That is, nevertheless, a little bit of a misnomer. Whereas I’m an individual who actively observes and critiques the web, I’m weirdly a little bit of a bystander. I’ve a form of a look-don’t-touch method, like a no-intervention documentarian watching little web creatures troll one another of their native habitat so I can scurry house and make my little homosexual collages about them. From my observational excessive horse, I do, after all, see rather a lot.

Making an attempt to condense this record right down to 10 factors appears a near-impossible job. As such, I’ve structured this esteemed assortment in layers of descent. Welcome to Xanthe Dobbie’s doom scroll in three acts: homosexual solar, tech moon, unhinged rising.

Homosexual solar

1. Jodie Foster: homosexual silence

This 1979 interview with Jodie Foster (lez icon) is the supply textual content for the actually beautiful homosexual silence meme. A pregnant pause follows the questions “Do you may have a gentle boyfriend?” and “What sort of fella would you want?” The digital camera edges ahead to border a clearly queer 17-year-old Foster, a smirk creeping throughout her face. If you’re homosexual, you completely know this look. Her silence speaks volumes.

2. Jordan Firstman’s impression of the phrases they and them

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100 years in the past in 2020, queer author and comic Jordan Firstman launched a sequence of impressions on Instagram and TikTok offering the world with a much-needed reprieve from the dystopian hellscape inside which we toiled. As a they/them, this one felt significantly resonant. The most well liked of pronouns, “they” was declared phrase of the yr by Merriam-Webster in 2019.

3. The Ultimatum solid tries to order pizza

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This one’s a little bit of an inside joke – however that’s basically what every part on the web is. If you happen to, like me, had been completely entranced by The Ultimatum: Queer Love – Netflix’s most up-to-date stab at LGBTQ+ actuality TV – you’ll love the accuracy of this TikTok. Queer Ultimatum was MESSY and I lapped up each second of it. In a single tight minute video, @lilly27sings and a solid of doppelganger queers handle to neatly sum up all the sequence. Very spectacular.

Tech moon

4. We’re not prepared for what’s coming

I stepped away from my laptop for a second. After I returned, it was constructing one thing. I didn’t ask it to do that. We’re not prepared for what’s coming pic.twitter.com/LZJJvs6nqt

— Mr. California (@InternetHippo) March 27, 2023

For the reason that current introduction of ChatGPT and Midjourney, there was a rising concern that the singularity is approaching. Are we dropping management of our expertise? Will it quickly overthrow us and steal our jobs? Capitalism actually does have a agency grasp on the west.

Thankfully, the soothing balm of memes can set us comfy. This one fills me with nostalgia. I bear in mind watching this pipe-generating screensaver for hours and hours on the chunky displays of my major college school rooms.

5. Carol’s Christmas carol for Carol, a lady named Carol

Whereas the robots might take us out ultimately, we’re definitely not there but. This bot-generated vacation movie is every part. The outline of Carol as a “girl whose hair is all bangs” offers me life.

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6. Two chatbots talking to each other

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This one speaks for itself. It’s two chatbots talking to each other. So much gaslighting. Enjoy!

Unhinged rising

7. Taylor Swift stage dive

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Oh, you got tickets to Taylor Swift? Good for you (derogatory). As one of the millions who missed out, I offer you this consolation prize. My god, she really knows how to spectacle. There is something so unsettling about the diving technique here. Where is she going!? What is down there!? I hope I never know.

8. Cars conspiracy theory

There is a beautiful corner of the internet dedicated to Disney-Pixar conspiracies and this one is a personal favourite. In a 2017 article, Jason Torchinsky hypothesises that the Cars universe is actually set in our own reality tens of thousands of years into the future. Raising a number of compelling and elaborate points surrounding “genetic engineering” and “gearheads”, Torchinsky suggests that Pixar’s cars are not simply sentient vehicles, but rather, vehicles with humans trapped inside them. See diagram for details.

9. Patti Harrison’s Disease Sleuth

Harrison is one of my all-time favourite comedians. She is the perfect balance of hot, funny and unhinged, which is honestly everything I look for in a partner. Disease Sleuth only has one episode and that’s all it needs. I am a particular fan of the ad breaks: “Computers! They need us more than we need them.” Genius.

10. Heidi Klum as a worm

I love Heidi Klum. I think she is one of the greatest performance artists of the contemporary era. If somehow you missed this delightfully disconcerting worm costume from Halloween 2022, your time is now. In this video we see Klum writhing around on the floor as the interviewer stoops to meet her monstrous face. It’s impeccable. Fortunately, the worm does not exist in a vacuum and I would heartily encourage you to deep-dive further into the Klum archives. In her own words, “the early bird catches the worm”. Go! Fly!

• Xanthe Dobbie is co-creator of Queer PowerPoint, which has shows coming up in Sydney, Melbourne, Perth and Taiwan. Follow them on Instagram for upcoming exhibitions and performances.